Being borderline is a really strange thing sometimes. After my therapist and I started talking more in depth about my diagnosis last year, I've really begun to take note of how my brain processes and perceives things. I suppose that's the point of DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), to make ourselves more mindful of our behaviors and how to alter them to suit the situation more appropriately.
This morning, I was pretty upset because one of my housemates was in the bath and I waited for over an hour to get ready to go into town and spend the day with my sister. I was so annoyed that I even caught myself thinking "fuck it, I won't go into town today."
Instead of spiraling into my usual mode of "my entire day is messed up now, ohmygawd" train of thought, I took control of my mind and told myself "Self, you are going into town today. It might not be as early as you expected, so it's going to be pretty warm out, but you are going to see your sister and have a wonderful fucking time, NO MATTER WHAT."
The funny part is, I did get into town about two hours later than I had been aiming for, but I got to spend time with my sister, for which I am incredibly grateful because she and I don't see one another often and we always manage to come up with awesome ways to pass the time.
Mindfulness is an amazing thing sometimes.
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